MY CALL: Yet another not-really sequel to chum the bad movie waters. But this was definitely not unwatchable at all. I enjoyed it for its badness. I just wish there was more in the way of passable horror effects. MORE MOVIES LIKE Amityville 1992: Uhhhhhh, when it comes to Amityville sequels, I’d stick to Amityville II: The Possession (1982) and otherwise tread carefully into the depths of the extended franchise. Part II has all the dumb fun you’re looking for with great pacing, but Amityville 3-D (1983) and Amityville Horror: The Evil Escapes (1989) are both boring slogs. Definitely skip The Amityville Curse (1990), the worst of the first five Amityville movies. Amityville Dollhouse (1996) is a solidly fun bad movie, but it truly has nothing to do with Amityville (it is neither sequel nor spin-off, it just has a similar theme and uses “Amityville” in the title for literally no good reason).
I’m pretending that The Amityville Curse (1990) didn’t happen. So, after the slaughter of now two different families, a botched paranormal investigation and exorcism, and a cursed yard sale lamp (from the house) shipped to California to raise Hell, we have another cursed antique from the Amityville house. So, I’ve gotta’ ask, was this clock from the same yard sale as that lamp from Amityville Horror: The Evil Escapes (1989)!?!
Returning home from a business trip, Jacob (Stephen Macht; Graveyard Shift, Trancers 3-5) brings an antique clock to accent his living room. In case the title of the movie didn’t give it away, the movie makes sure we know it was from the original Amityville house just before it was torn down. The clearly bewitched clock literally drills itself into place, as if to anchor into its new haunt. But the first thing the clock seems to affect is the neighborhood dog, which ends up hospitalizing Jacob after a violently bloody attack.
Conveniently, Jacob’s on-and-off-again ex-girlfriend Andrea (Shawn Weatherly; Shadow Zone, Love in the Time of Monsters) was around, and now she’ll be reluctantly taking care of him during his painful recovery. Jacob pressures her to get back together, his kids Lisa (Megan Ward; Crash and Burn, Trancers 2-3, Arcade) and Rusty (Damon Martin; Ghoulies II) reconnect with Andrea, and we begin to see more influence of the clock’s presence, which seems to distort space and time, but not in any interesting way.
The special effects are, well, not great. There’s a door-slam and we see the wire pulling the door clear in the shot. There’s some mucky thing under some bedsheets that I cannot explain and it doesn’t even lead to anything, a muck-bleeding mirror that I cannot explain and it doesn’t even lead to anything, a weird hallucination (by Andrea’s current boyfriend) that I cannot explain and it doesn’t even lead to anything, and Lisa becomes possessed and apparently filled with incestuous lust… it’s all dumb and empty. Meanwhile, Jacob (a corporate architect) begins to obsess over his housing development project, scribbling sketches of the original Amityville house and behaving erratically.
The one effect that got me to want to watch this (from screen grabs shared on social media) shows a teen boy essentially melting into a goopy puddle on the floor. It’s pretty gross and rather entertaining. If only more scenes could have been so worthy. That was exactly the kind of gross horror scene I’d expect from director Tony Randel (Children of the Night, Hellbound: Hellraiser II, Ticks). But I guess the budget only allowed for so much.
This movie is really bad. But I didn’t mind watching it. Truly, the odd relationship dynamic between Jacob and his kids with his ex Andrea, and then with Andrea’s current boyfriend (Jonathan Penner; The Bye Bye Man, Jason Goes to Hell) and Jacob and his kids, and then the psychic lady (Nita Talbot; Puppet Master II) down the street was all just entertaining enough for me not to regret this movie.
I’m not sure what the clock wants. What is its motivation? Jacob says it’s all about power, and not Hell. No clue what that means. But Jacob slipped into homicidal madness with his gnarly evil-infected bite wound.
The ending is dumb, but not completely unsatisfying. I’m not recommending this. But I also won’t warn you away from this if you’re looking for an entertaining bad movie night.
